Saturday, July 18, 2009

To be or not to be......vulnerable.

The other day when signing on to the Internet from my phone I had the option to check my horoscope and since I hadn't in a while, I decided to click and see what hogwash it had to say. The advice it had for Taurus individuals was about being vulnerable to those around us, and in return that person will appreciate and want to be closer.
Be vulnerable? In 2009? Are you crazy fake horoscope website???

This reading got me thinking..why is it so many of us shy away from putting our whole selves out there? I know myself, I sure didn't. I tried my best to keep as much in as possible. This is because in the past when I've allowed myself to be vulnerable it's come back to bite me in the buttocks!!

Being vulnerable means to show yourself to others completely and utterly without holding back for fear of rejection or judgment. It means to say "here I am, flesh and bones. Here are my strengths, here are my weaknesses, here is where I stand-take it or leave it". Do any of us really do that? Of course not! When we first meet people, they get introduced to the BEST us. The best dressed us, best smelling, best mannered, best humor we've got. No one is truly themselves because perhaps we fear them not like the REAL us right off the bat. We don't have conversations right away about what has gone on in our lives up to the point of this here meeting. We don't talk about the times we've fallen to the floor in defeat, cried ourselves to sleep at night, stayed with a man longer than he deserved, how when we're really laughing our voice is 10 times louder than this cute giggle you're getting now, the fact we can eat a whole pizza by ourselves, or how even though our legs are shaved today that isn't always the case normally.....we show people what we want to show them and hide what we ourselves think they might not like, but really it's what we don't like about ourselves.

"You must first love and accept every part of yourself. Loving exactly what's going inside of you doesn't mean having desire to change those things. It's not a self help technique to improve because you are perfect already, you just need to realize it - 'I'm perfect with all of my flaws, fears, doubts and insecurities' Ironically, loving yourself and not trying to improve them will cause you to improve the most. People will be OK with anything that you are OK with it and that includes the darker side of yourself. If you still judge yourself for something, they too will judge you for it. They will pick up of on your fears, insecurity and judgments and pounce on them."

I'll share with y'all and say in my previous dating experiences, I have been pounced on!!!(minds out of the gutter please!!!) And this quote before is exactly why it happened. There were things I did not like about myself and although I tried hiding them, it only made them even more apparent and boys ate it up!!

My food for the thought is:
- A person that feeds on your flaws or insecurities, does so because they themselves are insecure. Tell them to keep it movin'!!
- If you love all aspects of you, good and bad, the right person will love them too. "One man's trash is another man's treasure"