Whats Mine Is Mine!

So recently my son, my oldest, celebrated his sixth birthday. We spent a fun filled night at Medieval Times Dinner and tournament. We were on the yellow team and our knight didn't win but we ate with our fingers, cheered at the top of lungs, and came home with toys that will either be used as weapons and be tripped over my yours truly.

Once we got home we sang happy birthday, enjoyed some store bought birthday cake, and proceeded to open presents. My son got a few toys, some plastic Cowboys and Indians, underwear, socks, and some new shoes for school. Overall it wasn't presents of the decade but he was happy just ripping open wrapping paper. It wasn't until his Dad snuck in the last gift, unwrapped, in a long cardboard box, that I became a bit confused. I had no clue what it was until my son opened it and with instinct, pointed it across the room. It was a GUN!
This wasn't like a water gun, or a foam dart shooting gun. This was a Rifle...that shoots pellets. It can't kill a person but it can sure blind one and it could totally kill a small animal or rodent.

My mouth was wide open in shock, disbelief, and anger. Who in their right mind would get a six year old boy a gun? Well the answer to that is: his Father. Where his Father comes from, getting guns as young children is normal and perfectly acceptable. Ok that's fine and all, but his Dad grew up in North Dakota!! People hunt to live out there. That's no where close to how southern California is. This kid can barely be responsible enough to remember to brush his teeth.

I don't believe in killing things for fun or sport. I don't believe in guns either... Everyone in my immediate family knows this. His Father seems to think this is the only way to teach a boy how to be a man. Being an experienced Mother and educated in the studies of early childhood development, I know for a fact that isn't the only way to teach a boy to be a man... but I am not a man. How do I make my argument and have someone fully understand that I know what I'm talking about?

Regardless of whether or not I am qualified, I am this child's Mother. I raised him from a baby, teaching him to talk, walk, and think. I believe he should live by my beliefs and morals until he is old enough to make some of his own. This isn't like me wanting him to play basketball but his Father signs him up for baseball... to me this is like me being a Christian and his Father making him be an Atheist.

Up until this point I've lowkey expressed my opinions on this, but this weekend he actually killed something with this gun. Granted it was a squirrel, but still. He killed something with the gun he was given on his sixth birthday before he even knew exactly what "Death" means. This is unacceptable to me. And when picking one's battles, this is a war I am fully prepared to go the distance in even though I am an army of one.

Does anyone else agree with me? Disagree? If it was you in this situation, how would you handle it? Any and all opinions and/or suggestions are welcomed.

A Man Named Courtney...

So many times when loved one gets called in to Heaven, we focus on that one act which brings us nothing but pain and heartache. We forget about all the times we had with that person throughout their life...the good times, bad times, funny, and sad times. Yes, they died but they also lived and in most cases we helped them do that. So today, instead of letting sadness overcome me I'm gonna try and relive the memories of my Father and all the reasons that made him who he was...Courtney.

- I can remember when I was younger, anywhere we went we were dancing. I don't care if it was in a house, at church, in a park, or in the car...wherever there was music we were dancing. And my Dad would always say someone was stealing his moves knowing darn well he didn't make them up! haha

- Every Sunday morning before church the smell of nair would be in the air. My Dad didn't shave, ever. So he used nair to stay smooth.

- I can't ever remember my Dad cooking. I don't know if it's because he didn't know how or just didn't feel like it but...I think we always ate out =/

- This man could drive!! We were always whippin' down the freeway in some fly car like we were racing. He's the reason why I know how to drive with my knees so well!

- Wednesday night, church night! My Dad would drive all over to like four different cities picking up kids to take to church. All of my friends went and looked forward to it every week. After church we'd hit up McDonald's and whoever didn't have money to eat, my Dad would pay for. There's nothing he wouldn't do to bring someone to the Lord.

- My Dad had super skinny legs and a his middle fingers curved slightly. The only reason I remember this is because he'd change the radio station in the car with his middle finger...

- He was a trend setter....or at least he thought he was. Some of his outfits were like WHAT? haha Mesh t-shirts, cross colors, Laker attire, gold jewelery, high tops, colorful suits, every hair style you could think of for a man: fro, Jerry curl, fade, lined up..everything! He always dressed to impress.

- I can't remember a time where he yelled at me...or even had to yell at me. My Dad believed in talking. He always understood, or pretend to understand at least. Made it really easy to come to him with anything.

- I remember him and my Mom being really good friends. They never argued, never bickered, always got a long. That was good for us kids growing up in a divorce environment.

- Everyone knew my Father where ever we went. And if you didn't know him, he'd still shake your hand or ask how you're doing. He was a people person and people loved him!

- Every year for my birthday him and I would go to dinner....just the two of us. He'd let me pick the place and as I got older, even let me drive his car. The last birthday dinner we went on somehow the waitress knew it was my birthday. She didn't know we we're coming and he never left my sight. I'll never figure that one out...but it's a good memory I'll keep with me forever.

Point is my Dad made mistakes, didn't live a perfect life, but he never stopped trying to better himself. He never told someone in need "No", and he could always make you laugh no matter what the situation. Today I remember the Man Named Courtney for who he is, not what he was. He is my Dad and will forever be the most important Man in my life. I love you Dad.....miss you every day. Tell God I said "Whaaat up!" :)

Must Be Doing Something Right

So I get a letter in the mail last week informing me that my Kindergarten Son would be getting an award Tuesday at his school. It explained it had something to do with achievement and I just automatically assumed it was one of those end of the year, make everyone feel special type things. No matter though, I was going to be there to support him and give him a tiny cheering section. I charged up my video camera (which I hardly ever use because I never think of it) and threw my digital camera in my purse; I was ready! I left work early and agreed to stay later so that I could make it. When I got there I saw a small group of parents sitting in the auditorium. A few of them had balloons that said "Congratulations" but overall everyone wore smiles. To my surprise though, there were only a small amount of kindergartners sitting on the floor in front of the stage. My assumption had been wrong. Only a few from each class were chosen to receive awards today and my Son happen to be one of them.

When the Principle called me Son's name, which she pronounced his last name incorrectly by the way, she explained he was being rewarded for his progress and achievements in reading and leadership skills. My Son! This for a kid who could barely trace a straight line or sit still long enough to finish a page of homework in the beginning of the school year. Now he's writing, doing math, and reading entire books. I mean, I saw his progress, but his Teacher along with the Principle of the school saw it too. I was ecstatic for him! There I am holding a video cam in one hand, digital in the other, and yelling all at the same time!

Although the award in itself was enough to make any Parent proud, my high was elevated by two other things today. One being how excited and happy he was that I was there. Nudging all his friends and pointing me out, saying "That's my Mom right there! She has a black purse. You see her? That's my Mom. Hi Mom!". It's good to see that even though he may be growing up at a pace faster than I would like, he's not embarrassed of me yet. Second was when we were standing in the office waiting to get his award necklace he turns around to me and says, "Look Mom, I'm a leader! Just like you said I was." You're damn right Ty!!

Most Parents try to shove in their child's head not to be a followers. To instead lead by example and carve your own path in life. If you knew my Son, he was always following somebody else. What he saw on T.V., what his Dad thought was cool, copying other little kids...I feared for his individuality. But today when he called himself a leader, I felt like he truly believed it. If this award, although just in Kindergarten gives him the mindset and boost of self esteem he needs to continue being a leader into his adult life, I'll be the happiest Mommy in the world. In our society its so easy for children to get influenced in negative ways or lost in what is really them. I'm going to try and keep this moment fresh in his mind. Remind him what it felt like to be a leader and hopefully he will never stray from this direction.

Mama's proud Ty! Keep up the good work. I love you <3

Checking Your Baggage At The Door:

A lot of times we get great advice about why a relationship isn't good for us or how we should go about getting out of it and what not...but how often do we hear words of wisdom on how to make sure we don't take that bad relationship with us into the next one? I'm sure many of us don't even realize we're still carrying some of that baggage to our next destination until 1: someone points it out to us or 2: we go to face a problem and realize we're still using the same old crappy tools that didn't work for us the last time.

I truly believe that each real relationship that ever meant something to us even if it didn't work out should result in us being better, stronger, more educated people. You should take the good from it and enhance it, see the bad in it and make sure you don't repeat it. I believe each past relationship should assist in carving the path to the next healthier, better for us, happier relationship. Question is; how does one prevent it from carving into us?

When you allow a bad past relationship to hitch a ride on your back into your next one, you're really not giving that new relationship the chance it deserves. This new guy isn't the old one. You both are different together than you were with the last fella. A new relationship, I feel, should come with its own blank slate and hopefully the things you learned from the past one, good and bad, helped carve the right path that lead you to the new person. But if you look up and see yourself having trust issues because last dude was a liar or have problems with getting close to someone because that other person you were with smothered you 24/7, its time for you to find out where those crappy old relationships bags are hiding and get rid of them!!

Now that we've established what the right thing to do is, how does one go about doing that? A lot of times we're so afraid of the past repeating itself we hold on to those suitcases as a defense mechanism. How does one go about dropped the baggage, breathing, and enter a new relationship like it was our first?

Two Going on Twenty!!

Today marks the second year my Daughter, Tristin Marie Matalasi has been born. I've said it before and I'll say it a million times more; My Son saved my life, but my Daughter completed it.

I had always planned in my mind to have a girl. I'm not exactly sure why, but the thought of dressing her up (in purple, not pink), doing her hair, and having "girl" bonding moments always seemed like something I wanted. After news that my first child would be a boy, I knew I would try again some day for a little girl. When the news that I was pregnant again came about, the first thought in my head was "I hope its a Girl!". It's sad for me to admit that I knew I'd feel lowkey sad if I were to have another boy. Of course that feeling would pass because you love and want your children no matter what, but my heart was selfish and wanted a girl. Even after the first sex ultrasound said it was a she, I was still in disbelief. There's no way I, Brittany Glenn, would actually be getting what I wanted so easily. I'd know for sure ONLY when she was born.

Now her birth was a planned C-Section since I had previously had one four years prior. You think that would be less stressful seeing as how you wouldn't just be waiting around for the contractions to happen or your water to break, but let me just be honest and say that it was not. Knowing when your child is to be brought in to this world is one of the most stressful things you could ever go through. I didn't sleep a wink the night before. Having to get that epidural with no help from painful contractions or adrenalin masking the massive shot in your spine, makes you feel every single poke. Unlucky for me they put the numbing medicine up too high which caused me trouble breathing. Needless to say once she was pulled out I got about 5.2 seconds to actually spend with her before they started stitching me back up! Just long enough to snap a picture. First things outta my mouth were "IS IT A GIRL??" Finally, I could accept the fact, she was indeed, the girl I had been waiting for. 8 pounds, 1 ounce, 19 inches of beautiful baby. Although at first, she did resemble a baby gorilla....she soon grew out of that stage. Hey, I keep it real! Not all babies are born cute! haha

To give you a brief description of Tristin: She's black, white, and Samoan. Tristin was chosen for her first name because I wanted it to be a T like my Son's and the fact that I asked my cousin Tristin to be her Godmother just made sense. Her first middle name is Marie after my Sister's middle name, and her second is MATALASI which means BEAUTIFUL in Samoan. To me..it suits her perfectly. The girl loves to eat...I mean LOVES!! She'd eat all the time if I'd let her. She dances extremely well, she pretends to sing, and her favorite phrase at the moment is 'shut up'. Nice right?? Now I know all parents say this about their kids, but she is smart. Very smart for a girl who just turned two. She pays attention to her surroundings and the people in it attentively, mimicking everything everyone does and says. Sometimes that's a bad thing so we gotta watch ourselves haha.

With all that said, girl has attitude. She is a force to be reckoned with! My Mother always told me I'd have a child who was ten times worse than myself as a child, as my punishment for what I put her through. Her words couldn't have rang more true! God gave me what I wanted, a girl, but he made her tough as nails! She is just such a strong female and although she bullies her older Brother (poor Ty), I know when she gets older nothing will stop her from being whatever she wants to be. I won't have to worry about her being weak or persuadable, she will be a leader. I hope she gets some of that from me...and not just the attitude or the fact that she loves food :) She is my Princess, my Mini Me...she completed mine and Ty's little family and if I acquire nothing else in life it will be just fine because I have everything that I need!

Mommy loves you Tristin!! Happy Birthday <3

Can't Help Feeling Like I've Failed...

So like so many of you know, I am a single Mother. As such there's things I must provide; food, clothing, shelter, unconditional Love....just to name a few essentials. But there's other things expected that because you're doing so much on your own, you sometimes can't do.

This weekend happens to be my Daughter's second birthday..and because of just starting my job, bills, and other miscellaneous things I can't really afford to throw her the type of party I'd like to. To be honest with you...its taring me up inside. My Mother (who was also a single parent) tells me all the time that we all go through it, she will have fun no matter what she does, or she won't remember she didn't have a party...and there's a part of me that knows what she's saying is true but it doesn't take the feeling away. It feels like I've failed her on her special day.

Just like every other parent, you want to give your children anything and everything. You especially want to give them everything you didn't have as a child. Well so far, even though I'm a young Mother, that plan isn't working out too well and you're really reminded of it when an occasion like this comes up. But we'll do something, she'll get lots of hugs and kisses, eat some birthday cake, and probably have a wonderful day not even realizing she's gone without anything.....but I'll know. For now I just pray next year will be different and I can do something to trump and make up for this year.

Anyone else ever feel this way? Let me know I'm not alone haha

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

In honor of my Mother's birthday, I thought I'd take some time to share a few things about her, explain how she's influenced my life, and express how I feel about her (seeing as how I'm her favorite child and all!).

Theresa Yvonne, born January 21, 19....... is a Mother of three; Brianna, Brittany(the coolest), and Brandon, and Wife to Mike. After finishing school and before starting her life as a Mother, Theresa joined the Army to serve her country and got to travel all around the world. After the military she became wifey, working woman, and Mom. To this day she is still all three of those things, doing awesome in each category.

My Mother has gone through hell and back, faced adversities, bleak income, bad neighborhoods, truly tough times, but always provided for her children. She is beautiful, strong, giving, caring, smart, funny(sometimes), and thoughtful. I am who I am today because of who she is. You truly don't know the hard work and sacrifice that goes in to being a parent, a single parent at that, until you become one in my opinion. Now that I am one I realize the mountains my Mother climbed, the oceans she swam, and the load she carried on her back as she did so just to give her kids lives of fulfillment and minimal lack of want. She is a person I can always count on no matter what the circumstances. She'd give me the shirt off of her back if I needed it without hesitation. People of that magnitude are hard to come by these days in our society. Even friends would agree to her generosity. She's pretty much the only consistency I've had in my life and for her I am thankful.

One day hopefully I can show you the amount of dedication and love that you've shown me Mom. No nursing home for you when you get old!! Thanks for putting up with my crap and my kid's crap! Oh and thanks for the "good hair"! Love you!!!!

So whats the fine print?

Can someone please explain to me why in today's society, people (typically men) see a woman with kids and practically run in the other direction? Granted there are women out there that are shady and lazy who are looking for someone to take care of them and be a Daddy to their kids, but in my experience the single Mothers I know including myself aren't even on that tip.

This issue seems to be one I keep encountering in this thing we like to call "dating". As we get older and find ourselves still searching or re-searching for the right one, its more likely that you'll meet people who have been married or have had kids. The statistics are just higher the higher in age. But why are these things looked at like such a huge negative?

Let me just set the record straight! I am the woman I am because of the woman I am, not because I have kids or because of the past relationships I've been in. Sure you can it baggage, but really who doesn't have some? It all depends on how you carry it in my opinion. I like to carry mine like a soldier; Properly supported on my back, not dragging on the floor behind me or weighing down my arms in front of me.

Perhaps men see a woman with kids and automatically tie negative characteristics to her. Like she's easy, she's irresponsible, she's needy.....but actually in my defense its all the complete opposite. A single Mother is automatically a pillar of strength. She created and is caring for a life other than her own. Regardless of the circumstances in which the child was conceived, it was kept. Responsibility was taken and owned up to. A Mother is selfless, any which way you look at it. She gives to her children before ever taking for herself. She's a nurturer, she's a lover, she's the ideal candidate of what a woman in her circumstances should be.

So please tell me why when men meet an attractive woman, mid twenties, with what seems like a good head on her shoulders, her having a child/children is her "fine print"? In my opinion a woman that is attractive, mid twenties, good head on her shoulders, and has kid being interested in you would make you one lucky son of a gun! If you see yourself as anything BUT that, keep it pushin'! Cuz there's nothing wrong with me for being a single Mother of two. I consider myself just ahead of the game....maybe you should take some notes and try to get on my level. I turn lemons into lemonade. How many people do you know that can do that? A single Mother turns adversity into happiness. She should be looked upon as a CATCH. Period.