If someone asked me whether or not I felt like I had a lot of friends, my response up until last week would have been YES. I say up until last week because I had been faced with the task of finding a ride home from the airport and had to think of who to call to pick me up. Normally this wouldn't seem like such a difficult task, but you can't just ask any old Joe Shmoe to drive to LAX for you. Its a favor for those you feel close enough to impose on. When I went down the list in my mind, I could only come up with about two people I felt close enough to even ask and still felt bad for doing so. Only two?? How the heck did that happen? Well I'll tell you.....
Since about the 6th grade I've had the same group of best friends consisting of about five girls. We hung out all through middle school, joined the cheer leading squad in high school, rode in the same limo to school dances, all our boyfriends were friends, each was present for birthday celebrations, holidays, special events, even after we graduated we still remained a cliche' little group called 'SMD'. But it wasn't until this last year or so I really started to look at our friendships for what they really were...which were actually not real friendships at all. Sure they were around for the good times, fun times, drinking times....but when things were bad or life was real they were no where to be found.
Based on this new found information I cut my ties. I happen to be educated enough to know what real friendships are suppose to consist of, look like, and most importantly feel like. These empty titles made me feel like crap. I deserved better. These girls, as wonderful as they might have been, were not a good representation of who I was and what I believed in. I feel it was more of 'well you're popular and I'm popular so it just makes sense.' That was the WRONG reason to be someones friend.
Since this awakening I can honestly say I have like...two girlfriends but not one best friend. Is that such a horrible thing? Perhaps not because life will still continue on, but I do believe everyone should at least have one bestie. The void of a best friend hadn't really crossed my mind because I've learned to handle things on my own and at times even talk to myself, answering my own questions, but it really didn't hit me until I almost didn't have a ride home from the airport!! Why could this be? I feel like I'm a nice person, good friend to have, honest, giving....why am I without a true best friend? Is it something I lack or am I just befriending the wrong people?
At the age of 2*mumbles* I'd really like to find at least one girlfriend that you can just tell anything to, rely on, and bond with. Friendship is such a beautiful thing...I see the relationships between my sister and her best friends and I'm like...wow! I really need that! Seems to be the only thing lacking in my life right now. But I'll tell you this, I'd rather not have one single friend than have five that are not worthy of the honor. Quality, not quantity. So for now I'll just wait....patiently....and pray God sends me that one best friend I can grow old with.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
17 comments:
If you'd like, you can be honorary Bomb Squad! ;) just playin'...honestly, true friends are so very hard to come by. I have no idea why I was blessed with the group I have. But just so you know, if you ever need a ride again, you can always call one of them. If they'd do it for me, they'd do it for you because they love you too!
but you know I wouldn't. its nice knowing they would, but I just can't impose. you know you're close with someone when you can ask them to wash your laundry and not feel the least bit bad about it!!
It's very hard to find good friends. I often find that people are more interested in what you can offer them. True friendships can often stand the test of time. I hope that you do find a friend that you can call on in time of need.
Wendell
I would say that you probably don't have a bestie, ONE, because you're a mom, and you have to be your kids' bestie first. And TWO, maybe you haven't found someone you trust enough to be open with, who won't judge you for being you.
You're right! Friendships are extremely important to have...especially those that are so special you hardly ever see or hear from them, but would call them up in a heart beat when ish hits the fan, and they'd be right there.
Make sure that whoever you do find to be besties with, is a person you respect enough to allow her to tell you the things you NEED to hear about YOURSELF...even if it's the hardest stuff to hear. I believe that's the true measure of a bestie at best ;-)
I think I've just been befriending takers....cuz I'm a giver you know? thats a bad combination.
Good/ great friends can be hard to find. I have definitely had to reevaluate who I called my "friends" especially in the last year. It's sad when people are quick/semi excited to see you fail or for something go wrong in your life and comment on it...people showed their true colors so THEY HAD TO GO.........I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME OR THE ENERGY
I feel you on this, Brit. It's something I've struggled with for YEARS. I do believe I've been befriending the wrong people, too. I'm always the "doer" in a friendship.
The only time in my adult life that I've truly felt like I had a "bestie" was with my (now) husband. He and I were friends for years before we became a couple and I could (and did) call that man at 3 a.m. for help.
And while he's still my best friend and an amazing husband - I would now like another best friend. Ya know, someone to bounce stuff off of that your husband simply wouldn't want to hear. Unfortunately, the older you get, the more difficult it gets, IMO.
I forgot to leave my name on my last post - "livemusicjunkie" = Christy Holliday
It is funny how you say that you are a giver, great friend, ect. I really think you give your self way too much credit. you have never been a nice person. In high school you were a mean person. You have fought will all of your "Besties" over such shallow things! I think this blog is so phoney. You should try to see the attitude that you have towards other people...guess what?...it stinks! Maybe nobody wants to be a best friend to you because you suck?!...Ever thought about that?
Sounds to me like you had a great group of friends to share memories with and to continue making memories & YOU somehow found a way to ponder off your misery... It's like they say "Misery loves company" Maybe there is something wrong with u not them? Have u ever wondered why they all remain close? Why they continue to invite you to partake in their lifes and yet your negative attitude seems to hurt them....Maybe your not the person you think you are? Take a good look at who u are and then u will realize why you dont even have 1 good friend....
Oh, wonder who those last two posts are from!!! are yall both serious? if my blog is so phony, remove yourself from reading it. Please remind me how if I'm such a horrible person, why I'd still be invited to partake in these "memory making events" as you call them? I don't want to come because the memories weren't great for me! Do you not get that? Have I ever done anything to either one of you? No. Been there whenever you needed me? Yes. yall can peace out with all that bullshit forreal.
p.s. the people that truly know me, that deserve me....will get all of me.
you both don't fit in that category anymore. deal with it.
Jeeeezz, that sounds more like a threat. I wouldn't want to get all of you! You are filled with hate, negativity, and you have never been a nice person. Just listen to the words that you right. It's always poor me, how is someone gonna help me. Grow up and help yourself! Call a cab next time, figure it out. Thats life. Learn how to depend on yourself. You are so clueless!
And no I wouldn't do your laundry! Thats the problem you would ask someone for that favor and expect they would do it. Most people wouldn't even burden someone with that. BTW, this isn't about laundry. I point this out because I'm not sure you are able to grasp that on your own.
And you are far from a giver. I'm not sure what planet you live on. I forgive you for this blog. And I wish you the best.
wow! and yo wonder why you have no friends? How about doing something productive with you life other than posting pictures of your self in your underwear on all these social websites. Is that a motherly thing to do??? You obviously need to some gratification from random strangers. i wish I had time to sit around on the computer all day long twittering, blogging, and myspacing. How do you find time to attend to your children with such a busy schedule? How do you find time to work? ...let alone look for a best friend...ahaha take some lessons from your sister...be a better person and maybe you will have better friends. You act stank and all you'll have is stanky people around you...
I'm sorry, but I've never had pictures in my underwear. not now, not before. You seem to be mistaken. You also seem to be mistaken that I sit around all day. Just because I have a blog or am a member on facebook, doesn't mean it takes president over my responsibilities. As you can clearly see, I rarely post new blogs because I honestly don't have time. I handle mine and even if for some odd reason I didn't, that has nothing to do with friendship. I'm pretty certain I know who each and everyone one of you Anonymous posters are and you're only proving my point as to why we are no longer friends. I'm not the best person in the world, but I'm certainly better than you. Find something more "productive" to do with your time eh?
I know exactly what you're talking about... in my life I had to deal with friends that pretended to be for me. Yeah they were for me alright... just to get something out of it! T.D. Jakes once said, "those that are for you...are not always for you..." He's so right! I had to learn that the only people you can truly turn to is God and your family. I also had to learn to let go of the anger, hurt and sadness in my heart. Because it started eaten up my happiness...
Keep praying to God...He hears your needs...and hearts desires.
You will find true and good friends. Trust God...I'll be praying for you. As for the others (the pretenders)! Pray for them too..
I leave you with this quote:
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” - Charles R. Swindoll
Thanks for being real! Take care.
Post a Comment